Everything I’ve read, and everyone I’ve talked to about going through yoga teacher training talks about what a deep emotional experience it is.
Now, I can finally attest that this is one-hundred percent true. Sure I’d had some emotional moments in yoga classes before, but generally speaking I’m not much of an emotional person. That is, until teacher training started.
I’m not sure what exactly it is that sprung this shift. Maybe its the general heightened sensitivity and awareness towards ourselves and everything around us. Whatever it is, it hit me hard for the first time this evening.
After a great candle flow class, my teacher guided us into a deep savasana first by having us imagine all the power and energy we have as glowing balls of light in our palms. When coming out of savasana, we were instructed to hug our knees into our chests as usual, but this time to really hug ourselves, and to say “I love you” to ourselves in our minds.
While driving home, I was whirling with emotions, not even sure how to identify what kind of emotions they were. And it was when saying “I love you” out loud to myself that I felt the wave of emotions break. Saying this simple sentence to myself was so difficult, and brought on waves of unexpected tears, but I kept saying it, trying to work through it.
It’s amazing that something so simple, saying I love you to yourself, can be so challenging. And I don’t think I’m alone in this. Years of judging myself - never feeling good enough, thin enough, smart enough - never feeling truly worthy.
I am enough. I am worthy of my own love.
It’s still very hard for me to say. But I’m getting there. And yoga teacher training has put me on the emotional fast track to breaking down these self-inflicted barriers. As one of my favorite teachers always says, yoga is about getting out of your way. You already have all the divine light and knowledge inside you, you just have to get out of your own way.
Namaste to all you beautiful beings out there
Tonight made me so happy. Friday nights at teacher training are focused on yoga philosophy, so everyone sits in a circle and we take turns reading and discussing.
Tonight we went through the history of yoga (fascinating) and then the first fifteen of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. We had probably 10 different books with different translations of the sutras dispersed around the room, so after reading each sutra, everyone would share the different translations. It was a great way to a get a well-rounded view of each sutra, instead of relying on just one translation. It also stirred such an amazing discussion as everyone would share their feelings on the sutra.
It was just so beautiful. I feel so incredibly grateful to be a part of this teacher training. Yoga has so much wisdom to offer, and its amazing to be surrounded by people who share a passion for learning all of this. I could probably write a blog post for each individual sutra we went over, but I’ll save that for another day.
I am so so grateful for yoga.